What is happiness? It is not necessary to dwell on the definition of this word. It would be a waste of time anyway. Already in the 4th century Saint-Augustine counted nearly three hundred different opinions on the subject!
It is more interesting to wonder how to achieve this state of joy, of pleasure, of well-being, whatever the name one gives it. What is certain is that one does not become happy by applying magic recipes! But rather by developing in us the qualities that make our humanity. Here are which ones.
The determination!
It is not stubborn blindness, rather a course we set ourselves and try to stick to despite hardships and adversity. Determination does not come through rigid voluntarism, but preferably through a resolute and lasting commitment to ideas and values that are important to us.
We are not a weather vane, we do not let ourselves be distracted: we stick to things And that gives meaning, consistency and coherence to our existence.
It allows us to build an identity that is stable over time, and therefore reassuring. From there, it is much easier to trace your route
How to develop it? The best way to stay true to your values over the long term – and therefore to yourself – is to implement them on a daily basis whenever we have the opportunity. So anchored in reality, determination does not fray over time.
The sense of control!
It is a question here of self-control, of the ability to accept going through moments of frustration and annoyance, of the ability not to be seduced by any solicitation boasting immediate enjoyment.
It is in fact adopting a Stoic attitude valuing contentment: knowing how to love what we have, if not having everything we love; savor the stage where we are, without immediately aspire to more. By behaving in this way, we protect ourselves from the tumult of our desires, from this confusion into which our endless appetites plunge us.
How to develop it? To gain self-control, we can start with a modest promise that we make to ourselves, in an area where we tend not to be able to restrain ourselves. We will then experience a real gratification: a pride. for ourselves, for this personal discipline that we know how to demonstrate.
Optimism!
Surrounded by all kinds of threats, real or fantasized, how to remain optimistic? This character trait does not consist in naively believing that the future will be rosy. But in persuading oneself that we have within us the resources or the capacities to seek them outside in order to adapt to all situations, even the most unfavorable.
It is a posture, a relationship to life based on trust in human beings. Of course, they are capable of sordid things but also of such beautiful things! Optimism is what Albert Camus called revolt: refusing to reduce existence to its only negative side, balancing evil with kindness and beauty.
A state of mind that prompts us to move forward, to try again after failure, to keep our rebound forces intact.
How to develop it? Let us recount the negative events of the past and transform them through words. Let us see what forces they have made emerge in us, what solidarities they have woven around us. Enough to approach the future with the certainty that the worst is never certain!
Emotional stability!
Being emotionally stable does not mean not feeling any emotion or only positive emotions! It is to welcome everything that passes through us – sadness like joy, anger like sympathy, hate like love – without letting ourselves be overwhelmed, or carried away by the flow, then quickly regaining its seat.
Through advertisements, television or continuous information, our environment does not stop soliciting our emotions. By force, this ends up inducing psychological fatigue and wear, hardly compatible with happiness. Emotional stability allows us to to appease this overflow of emotional stimuli, to stay at a distance.
How to develop it? Every day, let’s take a little time to calm us down, pacify our emotions, find the thoughts that are associated with them and that trigger them. You can go for a quarter of an hour for a walk, take a short nap, just close your eyes, listen to a piece of music.
Awareness of one’s actions!
Keeping up with the flow … A carefree expression to convey the pleasure of letting yourself be carried away by events, of relying on fate. Which in the end can lead us anywhere, on a path not always in line with who we are.
Making conscientious choices, even if we are sometimes wrong, is on the contrary to regain control, to become subject again. It is above all to act of responsibility vis-à-vis the consequences of one’s decisions.
How to develop it? By not posing as a victim of events, by not indulging in a passive and infantile posture, by ceasing to wait for others to take the helm for us. And above all, by daring the right questions!
What do I want for my life? How can I reach it? What are the different possible scenarios? What will be the consequences for me, for others? How can others help me? Because let us never forget that happiness without others is just a lure …
Reference: https://www.bustle.com/articles/163210-11-keys-to-happiness-according-to-science
Photo de Elle Hughes provenant de Pexels
