Between our desires, their implications, and the multiple demands of society, we no longer know who speaks through us. When making a choice, everything becomes very complicated.
As a child, we knew what we wanted. “When I grow up, I will become ..!”. We chose to be a veterinarian, but math got in our way. Okay, artist? after all, we are bursting with creativity … “Not a profession, unless you are Picasso!”. Entrepreneur? “In our family, we don’t like bosses”. Since then, unless you have incorporated the reality principle and averted arbitrary assumptions, every decision turns into a dilemma. How do we do?
We get out of the social agitation which known as “hubbub”!
Today, everything solicits us and enjoins us to realize ourselves. To know what we want, we just have to decide among all the proposals. The choice seems unlimited, the offer constantly renewed. In this flow, our own desire is lost, our identity is diluted by being committed to reinventing ourselves.
This, however, will help us: Faced with the tyranny of choice, we can already make a decision: close the hatches, put ourselves in the background, in order to hear what is going on inside us, regardless of the societal injunctions of the moment. To rediscover what animates us, our own desire, and what constrains it. So instead of dissolving, We work to come together.
We do not need advice!
When making a decision, we may be tempted to seek advice all around us. “What do you think?”,” What would you do for me?”, “How do you think I do?”. Result: with each answer, we have a different option, which increases our confusion and drags the time of our uncertainty.
This will help us: The request for advice is a request addressed to the desire of the other. Behind this apparently wise and thoughtful step, we ask the other:“Tell me what you want, and I will comply, I can only act on this condition.” Clearly, we don’t want to decide. Which is a decision in itself: that of relying on the choice of others, whether it is a boss, a partner, a friend … But, if you become aware of it, so as to be in agreement with yourself. In this case, there is no frustration. Deprivation, perhaps, but it is not equivalent.
We limit the time of indecision!
The difference between those who manage to decide and those for whom it seems impossible is the time of indecision. This time, that of reflection, of pros and cons, where we seek to measure the consequences of our possible choices, is limited for the former, interminable for the latter. The challenge for everyone: the risk of being wrong and losing. The decision-makers assume it (I will find a solution, even if it means taking another decision to correct it), the undecided are deluding themselves (if I do not make a decision, there will be no loss).
This advice is going to help: Decision makers are also afraid of being wrong. But they don’t use their fear as a pretext for not acting, the undecided, on the other hand, yes. As much to wonder about the narcissistic stake: “If I am wrong, in other words, if I am unfaithful to myself, what image of me will I change? and in whose eyes should I remain “the one who is never wrong”, so as not to lose his/her love?”. This can help us make the decision: to act or not, and to risk the consequences.
The place for intuition!
Intuition is an unconscious calculation. We have collected data, we have repressed it, and the subconscious works around these first impressions. We realize, by analyzing them, through our dreams, for example, that in fact, we already knew everything that was necessary to make a choice. This means that the moment to conclude is always anticipated, that is to say that the decision has already been made.
The undecided do not want to know anything about it and rely on their “little inner voice”, which is that of the superme Ego (values, ideal, injunctions, more or less tyrannical constraints …). But if the two – intuition and superme Ego – are aligned in the same direction, then there is no doubt, we decide and act almost immediately.
Reference: https://blog.myneurogym.com/steps-to-help-you-make-better-decisions
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