Generally, expectations are not a negative thing. We all have expectations of others and others have expectations of us. However, when we are not aware of formulation nor focused on purpose and communication, we tend to get into trouble. It’s also the secret aspirations that play the havoc in our connections.
Although, of course, we can never control others, there are certain steps you can do to start shifting situations when the difference between reality and expectations creates irritation, no matter what side of you are on.
Building Awareness
We should always take a closer look at how your expectations are accumulating into reality (and the way it influences your mood). Here are some safe ways to get started.
- Ask yourself what you desire to happen when you get into a new situation.
- Should your expectations be this way? From where did they come from, and are they realistic?
- When you’re frustrated, start thinking about whether it’s rational to expect what you’re looking for. (If so, make a strategy to obtain what you seek next time. If not, think about balancing your expectations and how to do it.)
Managing Expectations
If you try to get away from the expectations vs. the reality trap, it all falls down to perception. It’s a fantastic start to be conscious of what you’re anticipating. It’s also a good thing to be cautious of what you “should” predict.
When you notice out what’s going on isn’t what you expected, consciously search for the positive things that you’ve obtained. You will find that after you get past the disappointment, you have something you didn’t immediately know you wanted. This helps you to feel more grateful for what you have.
At the end of the day, aiming for better may bring you to work the hardest and do your best. However, you can also be robbed of joy, particularly when you expect things to happen more quickly than they do or in a different way. Becoming more mindful of your aspirations and how they affect the emotions of your own experience will free you from dissatisfaction and discomfort that comes from unreasonable expectations.
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