When we find that what we did yesterday without thinking about it, today requires us to ask for help, we “choke” … Still, we’re going to have to deal with these little deficiencies. And even learn to smile.
We are a long way from the real loss of autonomy, that dreaded moment when a life aid, which has become indispensable, enters our existence and never leaves it. But for some time now, we have been counting our new small outbuildings.
Combined with each other, they constantly remind us of our age: ask the children for help to fill out the tax return on the internet, count on a babysitter to look after our grandchildren on vacation with us, have them delivered the races … Of course, we measure the luck of having these precious relays, but there is still something humiliating to be assisted for tasks that we previously accomplished alone.
We oscillate between the temptation to drape ourselves in one’s pride (I’ll get out of it myself!), With the risk of narrowing the field of our possibilities, and that of taking refuge in a fatalistic posture (anyway, now I am old …), even if it means relying totally on others. The solution is rather an in-between: manage to maintain a maximum of autonomy while not depriving ourselves of the help of our loved ones. Our witnesses tell how they do it.
Digital galleys … the important thing is to participate!
Technology undermines our cognitive abilities and sometimes leaves us very helpless when, for example, wifi suddenly stops transmitting, we have to navigate the essential sites of our administrative life (bank, insurance, CAF, taxes, security social …) or understand the intricacies of the new TV box.
For those who have discovered computers and the Internet after the end of their professional activity, it is difficult to stay in the digital race! To the point that anything digital can be experienced as a constant reminder of our advancing age.
The particularity of the digital tool is that it is constantly evolving: the interface of the sites is constantly changing, our software updates, we have to change our passwords regularly. We can never rest on what we have learned, we must constantly readjust our knowledge.
However, the fact of having to readjust constantly puts us in front of this lack of cognitive flexibility which is the corollary of old age. From there, either we shine, we give up and we get depressed. Or we fight, we struggle, we ask for help. Knowing that each of our little numerical victories raises our self-esteem and pushes back the feeling we have of getting old!
Domestic problems … more fear than harm!
Our house has long been a small business over which we reigned supreme. It is certain that today, its volume is not quite adapted to our life. But no question of leaving it for a small functional apartment! However, even if it is difficult to admit it, the burden involved in the domestic management of such a residence is heavy.
Accepting that loved ones take charge of domestic life requires letting go. We must mourn the image of the all-powerful mother who watches over the well-being of each member of the family.
It is also an opportunity to strengthen family ties. Accepting the help of your children is recognizing that you have done your job as a parent. We have passed it on to them, they can in turn pass on to us. It is rewarding for them as for us. It induces relations between generations which are more egalitarian, deeper, more liberated.
Lockdown, a chance to get out of … your routine!
We have said it over and over again. Faced with the Covid-19 crisis, age ranks us among those at risk! Especially when you have comorbid factors. Our children urge us to stay at home, to give up the market, to avoid going to see the girlfriends …
We are now also dependent on delivery men, relatives who help us download the exit certificates … But against all odds, this can be the opportunity to make new connections.
Dependence, when experienced in a passive mode, can be very destructive: we lose all self-esteem. But it is possible to welcome it actively, so as to give back to others what ‘they give us.
If it is no longer possible for us to do our shopping, we are still allowed to bake a cake to thank the one who makes them for us! This is how solidarity is born, by nourishing ourselves links implied by our vulnerabilities.
Reference: https://www.elitedaily.com/life/failure-more-beneficial-than-success/1824857
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