Do you have a close relative, a neighbor, a co-worker, a friend, or a gym partner with the autism spectrum? If so, you can find it difficult, at times, to interact easily with this person. Although no two adults with autism have the same language and social skills; the following advice from field professionals will help ensure that the interactions are as seamless as possible.
- Address him or her as you would any other adult.
Don’t presume that this individual has limited cognitive ability. An individual’s impairment could be more language-based and not linked to his or her ability to understand the meaning of a discussion. In other words, they will understand what you say, however they will find it difficult to respond orally.
- Autism helps protect them from seeing and hearing too much.
The word “autism” derives from Greek autos, meaning “self.” When the long-standing, false idea was that autistic people were oblivious of the world surrounding them; we now realize that they are capable of withdrawing to some degree. An autism shield preserves an inward thought life as a secure place to withdraw as the world’s bombing becomes too hard to take.
- Say what you mean.
Be literal, direct, and clear when communicating with an autistic adult. Avoid using slang, irony, and sarcasm. These modes of speech can be complicated and not fully grasped by a person on the autistic spectrum.
- Take time to listen.
Being a good listener is a valuable ability in communicating with adults with ASD. Making the time to listen, allows them to know that you take care of them, and love them. If you don’t get what the person is saying, ask more questions to clarify what they are attempting to express.
- When you ask a question, wait for a response.
If one doesn’t directly respond to your question, don’t presume they haven’t heard or understood you. Much like normal adults, people with autism or other special needs often require a bit more time to digest and analyze information before they respond.
- Rudeness is not their intent. No sad faces, please.
Any adults with ASD can unwittingly interact inappropriately. Rather than making a facial expression that you expect a person with autism to read and react to, inform them, in a matter-of-fact but helpful way, that his choice of words or behavior was not acceptable, and lead him to a better expression. Offering honest, non-judgmental, and clear guidance will help those with ASD learn how to manage dynamic social situations safely.
- Don’t speak as if the person is not in the room.
Many people have made the awful error of assuming that people with autism who have no consistent speech are incapable of interpreting the words spoken by others. Rule of thumb: Presume competence. Never talk about a person behind their back. They hear you when you complain about them, so find other times to talk mean.
- Try not to stare. Sometimes they need to do unusual things.
Often adults with autism are quite mindful of their self-regulation behavior. They know that their hand-flapping, rocking, or verbal “stims” are atypical mannerisms. Some autistic people are quite self-conscious about the presence of these “stereotypies” and encourage you to disregard them like you would if your neurotypical friend were twirling her hair (a socially acceptable self-regulating behavior).
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**Stimming: Self-soothing, repetitive body movements that autistic people do in response to over-stimulation or emotional stress. Common ‘stims’ are rocking back-and-forth motions, hand flapping, and arm and leg rubbing.
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