Society disapproves of it, but it doesn’t just do damage. Quite the contrary. Expressing our resentments serves us just as much as those around you. Are you ready to show your teeth?
Since childhood, we have heard ourselves repeating that it is not useful to get upset. And today, positive thinking encourages us to channel our anger, to try to put out the fire by breathing slowly to find peace. Yet this feeling is a defense reflex. By expressing it, our body gives itself the means to react or to move away from a danger.
Several scientific studies have shown that this energy should not be repressed. Psychiatric anger, violent and painful, should not be confused with a form of constructive indignation. The first is sterile, while the second carries plans for change. Here are six good reasons to express our resentments.
An asset for the heart!
Episodic anger can have a positive impact on life expectancy – just that! This statement emerges in particular from the results of a German study published in 2012. Showing one’s dissatisfaction would thus reduce the risk of cancer and certain cardiovascular disorders such as hypertension.
Two years ago, a meta-analysis revealed the toxic potential of repression. Indeed, when it rises in us, anger floods the body with hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol: This is an old reflex whose role is to allow flight or fight.
If they accumulate, these substances can be harmful by causing chronic stress. It is therefore necessary to “pour out” to evacuate them. Of course, it’s all about measurement. We must be careful not to attack the other: There is no question of accusing and yelling in order to feel better.
It’s pointless and traumatic for everyone. The risk of heart attack is also higher for choleric patients than the general population. Healthy anger, by all accounts, must turn to the search for solutions.
It restores our coat of arms!
The fact of recognizing a situation as intolerable pushes to seek strategies to put an end to it. This attitude clearly differentiates positive and punctual anger from its evil double. Pathological angers are content to demand that others remove what bothers them, even if this is not possible.
When you are rightly angry, your strengths multiply and your inhibitions vanish – everything you need to feel like you are growing wings! This has been demonstrated in particular by an American study. Following an unfortunate purchase, some customers dared to send a letter of complaint, while others preferred not to. Results: the first saw their ego inflated.
And we race ahead!
Do you want to run, go to the gym or prove to yourself that you are capable of surpassing yourself? According to British researchers, the ideal would be to get upset first, and even mumble as many insults as possible! Primary anger can be used to improve our athletic abilities. When we have to go, that is, run or work out, then we can call on our adrenaline and create some form of positive fuel.
Peace in the household!
We sometimes think it’s best to avoid annoying topics if you want to maintain a peaceful relationship. Mistake. Talking to each other, even if you bitch too loudly, is always better than no communication, which leads to many divorces.
An American study, conducted among 1,000 participants, showed that couples who quarreled were ten times more likely to have a happy relationship than those who preferred to play the ostrich. If one does not express his/her annoyance, the other cannot understand that a behavior is causing a problem.
He repeats it, and negative feelings are very likely to crystallize into bitterness and resentment. These emotions are much harder to digest than a fleeting anger and they take a deep toll on the couple. The situation escalates even more as somehow the recriminations do come out.
People who operate in this way explode at some point, in a way that is detrimental to everyone. The big limit to marital anger is, of course, respect for the other. We can confront our opinions a little vehemently, but we always have to take into account other people and their values.
Have the last word!
Would the best negotiator be the one who speaks the loudest? In any case, this is what the study by Gerben van Kleef suggests. Participants accepted more concessions and made fewer demands on a “uplifted” interlocutor than on a calm and happy person.
Researchers show, however, that this only works if there is a justification for anger. We cannot therefore count on bad faith … Requests for increases or phone calls to after-sales services, on the other hand, are fully eligible for this method!
One for all and all for one!
It might sound weird, but anger binds the group together. In a team, getting angry for good reasons defuses latent conflicts and can even bring members together. This effect has been pointed out by specialists working on work environments.
Participants who managed to put things on the table regularly succeeded in cleaning up interpersonal relationships. Showing anger was welcome as long as it was viewed as moral, that is, devoid of aggression or intimidation.
This could be, for example, a reaction to defend yourself against being treated unfairly, or to side with a colleague. Speaking out about injustice incites mutual aid behaviors within a group.
Reference: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-you-and-me/201806/sometimes-anger-is-good-thing
Photo de Andrea Piacquadio provenant de Pexels
