The way we give gifts says a lot about who we are. Gifts are used to please others… and oneself. Decipher the relationship between the one who gives and the one who receives.
We always send a message through a gift!
The importance of the meaning of the gift: it is a way of making friends. When explorers of the last century went to meet unknown tribes, they always brought charms to offer to the chief as a testament to their good intentions.
Today, the gift can be a way of customs clearance. If, for example, a person has not been very present with their family in the past year, they will tend to give a nice gift to those around them. It’s his way of being very present at this time of year.
But the message is not necessarily positive. When you give a “failed” gift that absolutely does not meet the expectations and tastes of the recipient, it is a form of contempt. They say to him: “I am not interested in you”.
Different profiles depending on the type of gift!
- The one who gives an expensive, disproportionate gift … This can be a form of bovarianism: a state of emotional and social dissatisfaction with vain and disproportionate ambitions.
He can also be a person obsessed with appearance and what to say about it. - The one who offers few or no gifts … It is clearly a tight-fisted who hides a certain meanness. He suffers from the neurosis of withdrawal. He is afraid that he will not have what he has today tomorrow.
- The one who only offers useful gifts: some people only offer useful items like a set of pots or a toolbox… They want to show that they are practical, that they are full of common sense, efficient and effective. not trivial for a penny.
A gift is never a free act!
When you give someone a gift, you both give pleasure. It’s a way of making people recognize that you are part of a circle of friends.
Already at the start of the 20th century, the ethnologist Marcel Mauss had studied the gift in so-called archaic societies: the Maoris of New Zealand and the Kwakiutls, the Native American people of Canada.
He demonstrated that the donation was a “voluntary-compulsory exchange”. The gift is a social fact: giving cannot be without there being reception, in the sense of acceptance, and receiving likewise obliges to give back.
Exchange therefore appears to be an important link in social life. The refusal to give, or to receive or to return, if not always leads to war, at least to the breaking of the links between donor and donee. The refusal is itself a rupture between donor and donee.
This theory is still relevant today. We offer partly because we want to, and partly because tradition requires us to. And it would not occur to us to refuse Aunt Micheline’s gift even if it is a terrible painting that she bought from a painter friend… The refusal would necessarily be interpreted as rudeness or even as a a mark of hostility, a declaration of war.
Reference: https://www.activitysuperstore.com/occasions/psychology-of-gift-giving#
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