The effect of sexual assault, regardless of age or sex, goes way beyond any physical harm. The experience of being violated or sexually assaulted may be traumatic, leaving you terrified, humiliated, isolated, or haunted with nightmares, flashbacks, and other disturbing memories.
It’s important to note that what you’re feeling is a natural trauma response. Your feelings of helplessness, guilt, defectiveness, and self-denial are signs, not reality. You shouldn’t blame yourself for what has happened or think that you are “dirty” or “psychologically damaged.”
Myths and facts about rape and sexual assault
Myth: You can see a rapist from the way he looks or behaves.
Fact: It’s impossible to classify a rapist. Many seem to be totally normal, polite, and unaggressive.
Myth: Since you didn’t fight back, you didn’t realize it would be that bad.
Fact: It’s utterly normal to freeze during a sexual assault. Your brain and body shut down in shock, you can’t move, speak, or think.
Myth: Assaulted women “ask for it” regardless of the way they look or behave.
Fact: Rape is an opportunity crime. Studies suggest that rapists choose victims based on their vulnerability, not attractiveness.
Myth: It’s not raping if you’ve had sex with the guy before.
Fact: Just because you’ve already consented to have sex with someone doesn’t grant your body permanent privileges. Whether your boyfriend, partner, or lover pressures you to have sex against your will, it’s rape.
It takes years to recover from sexual abuse, and the recovery process can be difficult. Yet you can recover your strength, restore your self-esteem, and learn to heal.
Step 1: Open up about what happened to you
It can be very stressful to confess that you have been raped or sexually assaulted. There’s a shame stuck there. It’s easier to downplay or keep a secret about what happened. Yet if you remain quiet, you will deny yourself aid and reinforce your victimhood.
- Reach out to those you trust. You can’t recover if you’re denying the facts. And hiding just adds to the sense of guilt. That’s why your best bet is to talk to someone who is supportive, empathetic, and calm. If not, consult a therapist or contact a rape crisis hotline.
- Challenge your sense of helplessness and loneliness. Trauma makes you feel helpless and weak. It’s important to realize that you have what it takes to deal with that will get you through difficult times. It can be through helping others or doing good deeds.
- Consider attending the support group of other rape or sexual assault survivors. Supporting groups will make you feel less alone and depressed. They also have useful guidance on how to deal with symptoms and how to work on recovery.
