Domestic abuse is not patriarchal. Any person of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender may be a victim or perpetrator of domestic violence. It can happen to couples who are married, working together, or dating.
Your partner may keep apologizing to you and promising you the hurtful behavior will not happen again. You often wonder if you’re imagining the trauma, and yet the mental or physical pain is still there. Unless this sounds familiar, you may encounter abuse in the home.
Types of domestic violence
Physically violent actions include all forms of abuse, from pinching, kicking, punching, or slapping to choking, shooting, stabbing, and murdering. Verbal, emotional, mental, or psychological aggression is defined as using terms to critique, demean, or undermine the intimate partner ‘s trust.
Other forms of abuse can be sexual, economic or financial abuse, spiritual, and even stalking.
Recognize an abusive relationship
There are numerous signs of an unhealthy relationship, and your partner’s fear is the most telling. When you seem like you’re always stepping on eggshells around them, carefully watching what you’re saying and doing to avoid a blow-up — then you are in an unhealthy and violent relationship. Other signs include your partner belittling you or attempting to control you, alongside feelings of self-loathing, helplessness, and self-indulgence.
Here are some signs that can tell you if your partner is an abuser or not:
- Criticizes you, insults you or puts you down constantly
- Prohibits you from getting to class or work or visiting relatives or friends
- Seeks to control how you spend money, where you go and what you’re wearing
- Acts jealous or possessive or keeps accusing you of being unfaithful
- Get furious when he drinks alcohol or uses drugs
- Threatens you with aggression or with a weapon
- Poses damage to you, your kids or your pets
- Forces himself on you or engage in sexual acts against your will
- Blames you for his abusive behavior, or claims that you earn it
- Threatens to reveal your sexual orientation or gender identity to friends, relatives, employers or community members
Health effects on abused women:
Domestic violence towards women has been identified as a priority for public health. There is sufficient evidence to support the idea of increased reproductive morbidity by women witnessing domestic violence.
Studies in the northern state of Uttar Pradesh, India, found that unplanned pregnancies among wives of abusive men are substantially more frequent.
In addition, research has shown that abused women are subject to twice the risk of miscarriage and four times the risk of having a child below average weight. In some cases, violence also accounts for a significant proportion of maternal deaths.
Consequences of abuse on children
The abuse by intimate partners places the couple’s children at risk of having serious emotional, behavioral, developmental, or academic problems than other children their age. When they mature, children and teens who grow up with domestic abuse are:
- More likely to use aggression at school or community in response to perceived threats, more likely to attempt suicide, use drugs, commit crimes, particularly sexual harassment.
- As they mature and become adults, they are more likely to become abusers, or to believe that violence is a natural part of their relationship.
References: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2784629/
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/domestic-violence/art-20048397
