E-mails, texts, a friend’s attitude, a colleague’s remark … Without knowing it, we spend our time interpreting everything, and sometimes even distorting reality. So what this automatism is that we all have on a daily basis but which can nevertheless ruin our lives, and gives us the keys to detach ourselves from it?
What is the interpretation of this reflex that we all have on a daily basis?
We are all, in our own way, in permanent interpretation, but there are also tendencies towards over-interpretation, which can be harmful!
Interpreting designates the fact of giving meaning to a gesture, a behavior, an event, an encounter, an accident. Giving a certain meaning rather than another to something, that means giving it a certain price, a certain value, according to what it causes, what it (re) arouses in us.
The risk in interpretation is to add to a gesture, a behavior (a text message, an absence, a delay), a meaning that does not exist, that was not intended of the author of the gesture. The interpretation thus makes us lend a meaning or an intention, to the words, to the gesture of an interlocutor, which he perhaps did not intend to put, which influences us and modifies reality.
In a way, we always interpret. It is the peculiarity of learning: learning to decode letters, sounds, gestures of parents or adults. When we are at peace, when the relationship is balanced, the meaning that we give to the gesture or behavior, will correspond to the intention of its author.
Messages, gestures, attitudes… Why do we spend our time interpreting everything around us?
Our emotions distort, or at least strongly influence – (but not deliberately!) our perceptions … We receive a gesture, a message, a word differently, depending on the interlocutor or the context.
Depending on what the interlocutor means to us, what he brings back to us, whether he (unconsciously) reminds us of a person who pampered us or another who mistreated us, we will receive things differently.
Also, depending on our current state (fatigue, stress, anxiety …), we do not receive this message, this gesture, in the same way.
Work on this automatism to be more fulfilled!
Without knowing it, without wanting it, we constantly interpret things on a daily basis. Nothing serious about that, what gets complicated is when the reality of things is distorted. When the interpretation is correct, then the message is well received, and there is no pro quo!
We interpret according to our moods, history, state of health and this influences our emotions and therefore our reactions if they are not received properly!
The emotion that comes into play when interpreting a word, a message, an attitude, a decision, has an impact on the relationship and can disturb your perceptions of the other. .
The relationship suffers, and may suffer as long as the interpretation is not clarified.
In the long term, if no step back is taken, no clarification is made, the interpretation and even more so overinterpretation is deleterious …
Hence the importance, for example, of rereading a text message two or three times from a friend who upsets us. The second or third reading usually makes us aware that our reaction has been out of step or is disproportionate to the content of the message we had interpreted. In a negative way, at our expense, or too complimentary.
Under the influence of emotion, we are not in tune with reality, but in fantasy or imagination!
The good advice: If you let go of the emotion that his behavior rekindles, and you clarify in yourself what he rekindled, once the emotion has passed, you will find the best answer. And, instead of reproaching him for not answering you, you will from now on make sure to answer him. Without being subject to your previous interpretation.
This can give rise to a great constructive awareness. Live reality better. If you overinterpret, you are less able to find the right answers!.
4 psychosocial tips to stop interpreting reality and improve your relationships with others!
Take the time to listen to your interpretations
Taking the time to respond to a message, to an email is important, in order to act and not just react … Listen to your interpretation: it tells you more about yourself than about the other and it will get you to know yourself. They are not negative in themselves, although they are harmful in a relationship. But also give yourself the time to change, always be kind to yourself.
Write your answer, without sending it …
Writing down what comes to mind, including the response we would like to give in return for a message that makes us react, allows it to be reconsidered with hindsight.
If once the emotional wave has passed the answer seems right and poised to you (it can happen), it is intuition (not overinterpretation), then it can be addressed. But this answer will no longer be charged with the same aggressiveness (and the same expectation) as if you had answered immediately.
Stop living in adversity!
Stop living in adversity: people are not totally for or against us, our life does not depend on them. Training yourself in other scenarios than those mechanically suggested by interpretation will help you set up other automatisms.
For example, look backwards to the film of your last performance. Become aware of the reality of your intention, to be in tune with yourself (without being overwhelmed by the emotional), and in better agreement with others.
Try to contain yourself… Even in front of the person!
It is not only necessary to take a step back from the reactions you may have when you receive an email or a text. In front of a person, too, it is important to take a step back.
Does a gesture, a remark, a question, a facial expression of a colleague cause you an emotional reaction? Contain yourself, and train yourself, if necessary, to come back to this person later (so as not to remain, in certain cases, on a misunderstanding, a misunderstanding, an annoyance, a pain, a frustration), once calmed down.
Reference: http://www.interpreterdevelopment.com/blog/do-i-really-have-to-interpret-everything
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