We knew the narcissistic pervert. Here comes a new toxic profile: the gaslighter. The latter manipulates his victim into doubting her own sanity. Boss, child, parent, spouse … Behind each of them can hide a gaslighter.
The gasligther is a person who chooses his victim, who gains her trust and who begins to make her doubt.
The term comes from the movie Gas Light, made in the 1940s. In this thriller, a man manipulates small parts of his environment to such an extent that his wife is losing her mind. The title refers to gas lights. They dim in the house each time the manipulative husband turns on the attic lamps, looking for jewelry.
Gaslighting can occur in all kinds of relationships: parent-child, boss-employee, sister-in-law. The gaslighter gradually makes his victim doubt her own mental health, but also her own memory or her perception of reality.
How do you recognize a gaslighter?
The gasligther denies saying anything, even though you have proof to the contrary. The more gaslighter denies what they say, the more you question your reality and begin to accept theirs. In addition, they often lie, and prey on their victim’s relatives. The goal is to attack those to whom you are most attached to undermine your stability.
Their words mean nothing. As they lie constantly, no action follows their words. One day, the gaslighter tells you we’re worthless, and rams you into words. The other day he congratulates you and compliments you. A technique that destabilizes the victim.
How do you know if you are the victim of a gaslighter?
If the more you meet a person, the more you feel empty and in the grip of extreme anxiety, the more you are depressed, the more you are only a shadow of you even though this person claims to help you, to love you, that he says to you ‘my poor darling, you are not well at all’ you must absolutely sound the alarm, you are under the thumb of a “gaslighter”.
The victim of a gaslighter feels like she is going crazy, doing everything wrong, is afraid to make decisions. She is constantly in a state of confusion and only feels safe with her manipulator. If you feel like you are a victim of gaslighting, talk about it, consult if necessary, and surround yourself.
Do you think you are the victim of a gaslighter? Beware of Stockholm syndrome: this term refers to the fact that a person can empathize with their executioner / torturer, adopt their point of view and even defend it …
Reference: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201701/11-warning-signs-gaslighting
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