It is a kind of moral conscience, which helps us to act (well). But by dint of demands and reproaches, it can also poison our lives.
The superego determines the permissible and the forbidden!
The Superego is part (with the Id and the I) of the three instances defined by Freud to describe our psychic apparatus. Its function is that of a regulator: while the Id emits impulses, the Superego authorizes or prohibits their accomplishment, by giving orders to the Ego (our conscious being).
In other words, it is this famous little voice that guides us, slows us down, guides us, by reminding us what is good or bad, what should be done or not. Better still: under the effect of the Superego, certain aggressive impulses are transformed into positive impetus. This is how some become surgeons, butchers or veterinarians, rather than bloodthirsty criminals …
It is built in childhood!
The Superego is not innate. The first internalized prohibitions are those enacted by the entourage, family, friends, then at school: we do not cheat, we do not steal in stores etc. By forging itself, the Superego makes our life in society possible (conversely, a person who does not have one can fall into crime or delinquency).
But its construction is also done empirically, via our experiences of pleasure or unpleasure. A child who eats too much – and is embarrassed about it – will create in his psyche a law according to which it is forbidden to overeat. It is no longer a question here of an internalized rule but of a personal injunction, born in the unconscious, and which can lead to a disorder (anorexia for example).
It can get tyrannical!
Because indeed, a Superego too present can become a poison. Because we are afraid to give in to the id’s drives, we unconsciously impose a series of prohibitions on ourselves. Miscalculation. Because the more one submits, the more he asks for. Lacan warned us: the Superego is greedy… This is how very strong inhibitions are set up (inability to commit, refusal of responsibilities, etc.).
Worse: the Superego is capable of making us guilty of an offense that we have not committed … As if the fact of having had a criminal impulse (the desire to cut your neighbor into pieces for example) came down to have done it. Where the matter is complicated is that this criminal impulse being repressed, it is inaccessible to consciousness. There remains the guilt whose origin we do not know …
It pushes us to surpass ourselves!
Beyond the prohibitions that it prescribes on us, the Superego imposes on us a model to achieve, an ideal. It can be a life project, an ambition or a hero to which we project ourselves. Stimulating, your Superego is there to support you! Problem: If you do not reach the goal set, the Superego blames you.
For example, you want to be a good person, endowed with a moral sense, but because the necessities of social life force you to do so, you give in to some compromises. Because of the Superego, you may feel a certain contempt for yourself. Ditto if you miss a romantic or a professional opportunity.
We can make our superego evolve!
Analytical work can be a way of reducing superego demands and alleviating this latent guilt (no, having criminal thoughts is not a crime!). Concretely, when the professional intervenes, it is as if your little voice intervened. Also, by showing kindness towards you, it helps to soften it. This gymnastics also works in life. For example, a spouse who looks at you kindly and lovingly will help you gently put your Superego in its place and make it an ally.
Reference: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-superego-2795876